~~Mel~~

~~Mel~~

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Well it's Wednesday

So, it's not Monday...but today feels like a venting kind of day.

First off...life vent...

I'm so unhappy lately. I'm not sure if it's PMS (still) or if it's just that I feel as if I'm stuck in a rut. I want more. The boyfriend promises we'll get married soon but alas no ring (or money for a ring) in sight...and even before that he has to file for divorce. Yes he was married before. He's afraid to do this for some reason, and I've let it go. But come on now...it's been TWO years since we met and we've been living together for almost a year now. Part of me wants to keep my mouth shut...because it will mean so much more if he comes home one day and states "I spoke to a lawyer today about my divorce" than it would if I had to nag him into it. I've offered in the past to set him up with a family law lawyer here at work and he shrugs it off. It's very frustrating just biting my tongue and biding my time. But when I'm thinking rationally and not all worked up about it...I think to myself...what's the rush. I'm just so conflicted on how to handle this whole thing....because it's been the beginning of long drawn out arguments in the past. I want to move forward and I want to set goals but it seems impossible if he's not on board. For example we are sort of tossing around the idea of buying a house if/when the house we rent sells. BUT i can't see myself jumping into that with him when he's still legally married to someone else...it just wouldn't make sense.

Work vent...

So today I came into work and my boss T decided he was going to fake sick and cancel some very important meeting he has tomorrow...this is the THIRD time on this particular file he's done this (I am in charge of arranging all the parties and setting the meeting date, time, booking a court reporter and a boardroom)...so I was extremely frustrated and it took everything in me not to tell him to eff off.

Right now I want to go home and SLEEP...block the world out....but I must take the boy to the library at school for "Reading Month" activities.

1 comment:

Yellow Beads said...

Blogging is a great tool for venting! I hope you feel better tomorrow.