Mom of the Year Award

The lovely Melissa over at Shimmermeblue (totally check her out, she's got great product reviews and lots of cool giveaways) gave me this award...mom of the year? I'm not really sure, but I do try my very best to be the best mom I can be every single day...as I'm sure we all do.

Rules for Mom of the Year Award:

Admit one thing you feel awful about involving being a mom.

Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are No Longer allowed to feel bad. It's over with, it's in the past. Remember, you're a good mom!

I feel awful that I have to work fulltime...I feel like when I get home at the end of the day I am just too tired to do the things I enjoy doing with the boy...most times I can put on the mask and be happy and energetic and then eventually really get into what he wants to play or do...but other times there's just no hiding the exhaustion...and I'm tired and irritable and just no fun to be around...

Remind yourself you are a good mom, list seven things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.

These are the things to remind yourself everyday that you Rock!

1. I love that the boy is so unlike me in that he's a social butterfly...I guess I'm more like that now but as a child I was scared of my own shadow.

2. Movie nights with the lights off, lots of blankets and pillows, and of course microwave popcorn.

3. I love that the boy loves to read!!

4. I love that the boy calls me 'mama'...never did I ever say anything other than mom when referring to myself but when he was about 3 he started to call me mama and it stuck.

5. I love his imagination.

6. He's so kind, thoughtful and considerate.

7. Camping...he's got that outdoorsy gene...and I love it.

Send this to five other Mom's of the year that deserve credit for being great moms and remind them that they are the best moms they can be!! Remember to send them a note to let them know you've selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you.

Now I didn't check any of your blogs to make sure you hadn't already received this...so I apologize if I'm giving it to you for the second or third time around. I nominate the following bloggers...by blog name:

Sunshine and Rainbows

Spotlis

Don't Eat The Yellow Snow...

aefilkins

Lazy Crazy Mama

****Just a little update on my weekend...it seemed to be going well until both brothers had a few too many last night...it went a little down hill from there...BUT thankfully today was a new day and there will be no excessive drinking going on with those two under my roof again...NEVER. I'd tell you the details but I'm elbow deep in cooking and cleaning...HAPPY EASTER!*****

Oopsie

So, remember a little while back when I wrote a letter to my co-worker? If not, you can click here to read it. Said co-worker sits right next to me and on more than one ocassion has said a few "off colour" things to me.

Case in point, 2 weeks ago I was 15 minutes late for work (as a side note I am a very punctual person and am NEVER late)...a school bus got stuck in the snow and that delayed the bus I take to work every morning. When I walked into work this co-worker remarked "oh are you making your own hours these days?"...ummm excuse me??? It took everything in me not to tell her to go to...well you know where lol.

Anyways, I've shared a few of these comments with some of my friends and have inadvertantly formed a 'hate group' of sorts. I really didn't expect people to take sides in our 'war' and believe that she is a really nice woman outside of work so I don't wish her any harm or anything...I just needed to vent.

So, Imagine my shock when a girl I work with and consider a friend stood behind said co-worker the other day and was mocking her and making fun. I mean it was funny as heck...but still I feel bad for creating this nonsense.

I guess when I decided to become a legal secretary/assistant (which ever is politically correct these days) I should have taken into account the fact that almost all other assistants would be female and that makes for some serious cattiness.

The looming family visit starts tonight...I may not be much of a blogger until my chaotic household gets back to normal on Sunday...I hope you'll all miss me lots!

Extreme Makeover - Me Edition Week 3

Hop on over to Amber's blog to find out how to play along.

So I didn't participate last week by posting...because honestly I didn't feel I had anything to share. I've been in an exercise slump. I was doing so well for close to a month and then boom...my life got busy and I haven't made the time to exercise. The girls and I have still been doing the stairs here at work every afternoon...down 16 flights and then up 9 (which is 2 more up than we were doing previously)...so I guess that is something and I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

In the eating department...I'm still not counting calories...but I have really reduced my fat/junk intake...we splurged on a George Foreman grill and tried it out for the first time last night with burgers...and let me tell you, this thing is awesome!!! I know it doesn't totally eliminate the fat but it sure does take alot of it out. When I emptied the little drip tray after only cooking 2 burgers I was amazed at how much fat it took out of them...and don't worry about them not being juicy or not having enough flavour (I had heard that about burgers on this type of grill)...because the boyfriend and I loved them.

I haven't had a chip or any chocolate in god knows how long...I even resisted when we were at the movies the other day and the boy had a kit kat and offered me a piece...

This weekend is Easter and there will be chocolate galore at my house. I'm also cooking dinner for my family that will be in town and have invited some other extended family as well. So I'll probably have a not so good weekend in the eating department...but I guess we all need those days/weekends every once in awhile.

Amber's question this week is:

How are you keeping track of your achievements. How do you reward yourself when you acheive a goal?

Honestly, I can't keep track of my acheivements by using a scale...I cannot weigh myself without getting frustrated and obsessive...we don't own a scale for that reason. I feel good and my clothes are starting to fit a little nicer so that's how I measure success. I haven't rewarded myself as of yet because I just don't feel like I've got it all together. Maybe next week (after all the Easter festivities) will be the week that I have both exercise and eating on track!

People often ask me why I workout and watch what I eat because to them I have the ideal body shape and type...I'm tall and relatively slim...but for me it's also about keeping that mobility. Do I want to be 55 and not able to bend down because my knees will crack and be stiff? Absolutely not!!! I've always had bad knees and figured it would just continue to get worse with age...but since I've started doing the stairs daily, they have not bothered me even once. No pain...who can complain about that???

My Frugal Boy

So since the boy ditched me on Friday I was planning to take him to see Monsters vs. Aliens on Saturday. Well he woke me up all excited that morning because he remembered the coupon he had for the movie theatre that came in one of his cereal boxes (I swear my kid doesn't buy the cereal for the prize...it's just cause he really likes it...uh huh...yep...totally true lol).

Anyways, we cut the coupon out of the box and it entitled us to one free child's admission...the only problem it could only be used from Sunday to Thursday. The boy was super disappointed and seeing as I hadn't even remembered we had the coupon I tried to convince him it was totally okay and that I'd pay this time and we'd use his coupon the next time. But no he wouldn't hear of it. He insisted we go on Sunday so he could get in free.

We set that plan in motion and just had a quiet day at home on Saturday. Sunday we got up and he brought me the coupon again. I decided if we were going to use it I should probably read the fine print. Oh no!!! Cannot be used for 3-D movies...urgh. We totally planned to go see the movie in 3-D...so again I tell the boy that if we use the coupon we'll have to see another movie or see the one he wanted but not in 3-D. I really wanted to see it in 3-D and convinced him that he should let me pay this time and we'd save the coupon.

ONLY to get to the theatre and realize that I totally messed up the times and the 4:00 show was NOT in 3-D. I asked the boy if he wanted to wait an hour for the 3-D version and he of course piped up "nope I'd rather not see it in 3-D anyway...it kind of freaks me out". Come to think of it he's never seen a movie in 3-D and probably has no idea what it really is. But alas it all worked out...the boy was not 'freaked out' and we were able to use the coupon!!!!

Through My Eyes Friday - Saturday Edition

Life in the Lapadula House created this weekly meme and I thought I'd play along this week.

This is what I saw out my side door on Wednesday morning...it's beautiful, this I know...but again I'm dying for spring to get here...the weather channel tells me maybe next week lol.

Writers Workshop - Moments of Fear

That Girl over at Sunshine and Rainbows turned me on to Mama Kat's blog and this little writers workship. Each week Mama Kat posts 5 prompts and you choose one and write a post on it.

Here are this weeks:

The Prompts:

1.) Why did you do it?
2.) What is a common misconception about you?
3.) Describe a moment when you felt afraid.
4.) In what ways are you turning into your mother?
5.) Are you always right?

I am going to talk about 2 times in my life that I felt absolutely terrified. Both popped into my head immediately and I couldn't decide which one to write on...so I'll do both.

A little bit of background. My parents divorced when I was 11 years old and my mother remarried the year I turned 15. They were married all of one week before he started getting physical with her and even said the words "a man must beat his wife...how else will she ever learn". I watched and tried to help my mom...many times I'd call the police and they would show up and my mom would just send them away. So to avoid all the terrible things that were going on at home I would just spend most of my time at friends houses.

Fast forward approximately 9 months. I came home from writing an exam at school...it was about 11:00 a.m. and when I walked through the door it looked as if we'd been robbed. The house was trashed...everything was everywhere and no one was home. I found that odd because when I left for school that morning both my mom and stepfather were at home and had the day off from work (as far as I knew). So I scanned through the house and noticed not a thing was missing...again odd...if we had been robbed why wouldn't they take anything? Then, I walked into the bathroom and saw blood...everywhere. The towel bar had been ripped off the wall and was lying on the floor...the cordless phone had been thrown and now lay in pieces on the floor. I was absolutely terrified. Not knowing who to call or what to do...or where either my mom or stepfather were...I sat outside and waited...and smoked about a pack of cigarettes in one hour. Looking back, I guess I was in shock...I had no idea where to go or who to call.

Finally, I guess my mom remembered I'd be home earlier than any normal school day because of exams and she contacted her friend that lived down the street from us and told her to make sure I was okay. So she came down and stayed with me and explained that my mom had been beaten pretty bad and was in the hospital and that my stepfather was sitting down at the police station...attempting to press charges against my mom...when the police arrived to arrest my mom they immediately called an ambulance realizing she was the one that was in rough shape and not my stepfather who had a couple of scratches on his arm.

Eventually, the stepfather was deported (he was originally from Trinidad)...but not before our entire lives were disrupted. We lived in fear of his friends and didn't feel safe staying in our home or the town we lived in. So my mom moved us away...this was all before the deportation took place. He first had to stand trial because he of course pled "not guilty".

Amazingly I had blocked out the events surrounding why we "went on the run"...I mean not totally blocked it out but I didn't have memories of walking until the house or of what I saw in the bathroom...until just a few weeks ago out of the clear blue I was telling the boyfriend the story (I have no idea how it came up in conversation) and I saw myself...right back there.

The other time in my life I felt completely terrified...was when I found out I was pregnant. Though the boy's Sperm Donor and I were not taking precautions to prevent pregnancy (he wanted a baby)...I guess I just thought it wouldn't happen to me...I lived in complete denial for the first 3 months of my pregnancy and told no one I was pregnant. The SD and I had quite a rocky relationship by that time and the last thing I wanted was to have his baby. The day I finally went to the doctor's office to confirm my fear of being pregnant...I went home to tell SD the results and he seemed excited...okay good...until he realized it was Halloween night and I couldn't partake in the partying he had planned...so he told me not to bother even coming to the party that I'd be better off at home...I later found out his 'mistress' was at the party and he was looking for excuses to keep me away. Not to mention our fridge conked out on us that very same afternoon and he expected me to clean it out and stick around while the landlord delivered the new one.

As you can imagine I was beyond miffed and told him that if he left me home alone that night his things would be packed and outside the apartment door the next morning. He had no idea that I'd follow through...but by that point I had just had it with his attitude and treating me like crap. Two days later I found out about the mistress. She knew about me and knew I was pregnant and still she continued to see him. For a long time I was angry at her...but now I realize it was all him.

So I was alone, 20 years old, my mother and I were not on speaking terms at the time, I was absolutely terrified at the thought of bringing a tiny, helpless baby into the world. Actually, I remember very vividly the night he was born. My mom was in the delivery room with me but right after the boy was born she went home to get some sleep...and as he lay in his little hospital bassinette I remember staring at him and thinking to myself "what now?"..."How on earth am I ever going to care for this little guy?"

But I'm proud to say I have...he's such a great little guy and I love him more and more each day. SD has met him all of 3 times and honestly I feel more sorry for SD than I do for the boy. He's missing out on this amazingly smart, funny, adventurous kid. But I guess it's karma...he shouldn't have been cheating on me and he should have respected me. To this day he tells me he really messed things up...yes you did buddy.

I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into my turbulent life...I promise I won't always do such depressing posts!

Anxiety

So one week from today my mom and brother and nephew arrive...and then the next day my other brother flies in. I'm feeling so anxious about having my family back together again...and in MY house. I just hope we can all get along for the 4 days they will be here...that's been really tough in the past.

You see my mom babies both my brothers and even when they make the wrong choices in life she stands behind them 100%. This irritates me so much...I feel like if maybe she helped to guide them instead of blaming all their problems on the other ppl involved...case in point my brother and his ex and all that has come from that...he beat her up and she (finally) got wise and left...there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it...she's moved on and I for one am very happy for her...my mom thinks she's wrong for moving on so quickly. But who am I to judge? She lived a long, tough 7 years with my brother who I know firsthand is not easy to live with.

I hope he comes here with a new outlook on life...he hasn't seen the boy since he was about 4 years old...and has never met the boyfriend...so you can see where my anxiety lies. I hope he realizes he is coming into our house and will need to show respect.

I'm probably working myself up far too much over this...and hope it will go very smoothly. We have plans to go out on the Saturday...I've hired a sitter for the boy and his cousin and we'll head out for some drinks and dancing. My mom suggested it might be good to stay busy and be out and about...that might not work for this homebody lol.

This Friday since the boy has ditched me...the boyfriend and I will have a date day. I'm very excited. We'll go out for breakfast and then spend the day together...it would be nice if the weather warmed up (and the snow melted) so we could go for a long walk in the park or something like that.

Movie day will be Saturday when the boy is not busy with his friends.