Friday, January 16, 2009

These are the days of my life...

I used to be quite the drama queen...and I guess in a sense I still am...I thrive off of other people's drama now though lol. But you see, I much prefer hearing about someone's drama after the fact, I don't necessarily want to be the 'community shoulder to cry on'. Somehow I've become just that.

Take this week for example...I learnt at the beginning of the week that the boyfriend's brother broke up with his girlfriend. They have been together less than a year and considering we don't spend alot of time with said brother I had only met his girlfriend a handful of times. YET, who does she call in tears...yep, you guessed it ME! The boyfriend was home when she called and he talked to her (I was still at work)...she was quite the blubbering mess according to him. I don't know if she was supposed to call me later that evening or if I was supposed to call her back...the boyfriend didn't specify and considering I don't really want to get involved...I've just left it...but I feel guilt now.

The very same day that all of this took place...my phone rings long distance...who is it on the other end??? My brother...whom I haven't spoken to for 3.5 years...there are many reasons I chose to cut off contact with him, first and foremost being that he was womanizer and had gotten physical with his girlfriend on a few ocassions. So as of recent his girlfriend finally had enough and pressed charges the last time it happened (good for her!!!!). So the brother spent the holidays in prison and is still dealing with it all...he's very depressed and out of sorts...my mother swears he has a personality disorder (she thinks he's schizophrenic) but I'm really not sure what to think. He's been on drugs and abused alcohol in the past and it's hard to tell if he's still doing those things. I still don't know what he is turning to me for...we haven't spoken of the past or his recent breakup...I guess he's just reaching out so he doesn't feel so lonely...trying to right the many mistakes he's made. It's become a daily thing to call him when I get in from work...thankfully he only keeps me on the phone for about 10 minutes...one thing people that know me well know is that I HATE the phone.

If all of the above wasn't enough...on the very same day (yet again)...my ex-next door neighbour called...him and his common law wife broke up last summer and he still likes my boy to have playdates with his boy...that's all fine and dandy...but yet again...he seems to need MY shoulder to cry on. I'm tired of hearing about his crazy antics with his ex...I'm tired of him seeking legal advice from me because of my profession...he's a nice guy and all...and I do see us being friends, if for nothing else because our kids are such close friends...but I can't handle having to give out all of this support and encouragement, especially since I'd never phone him if I was going through a hard time...I'd save all that for my online buddies (you know who you are) or my very closest friends...not someone I barely know!

Then there was yesterday...when my son's SD (sperm donor for those who don't know) decided he was going to write me a week and a half after his mother's death. I know he's going through a very tough time right now...feeling lost and confused...but again *I* should not be the one he turns to. I of course wrote him back...gently encouraging him to 'keep on going'...I was much nicer than I'd have liked to have been...this sorry SOB has never once given me a cent or helped in raising my boy in any way...but the nice person in me can't 'kick someone when they are down'...it's just not in me.

I'm looking forward to the weekend despite the crazy week it's been!!


That Girl said...

I warned you about talking to people. If you were more anti-social (like me) you wouldnt have these problems.

Jacinda said...

its just because you are an awesome, kind and thoughtful person who people gravitate towards. :) be more of a B**** and they will leave you alone. haha

That Girl said...

you have an award on my page!