Tuesday, August 25, 2009

City Life v. Small Town Life

So we currently live in a city...not a real large one...but a city nonetheless (Population: 648,000). My mom lives about 8 hours north in a tiny little town (Population: 7,500) and has been there now for two years. She of course would love nothing more than for the boyfriend and I to move up there. You see when I found out I was pregnant with the boy and that sperm donor was a cheating, lying, sack of...well anyway...I moved back in with my mom. Her and the boy had a very close relationship and I know they both miss it at times (she moved out when he was 5 years old). Not to mention my mom likes to have her family close. She actually convinced both my brothers to move up there to be with her. I'm the last one she's working on.

Lately she's working on the boyfriend...they chat over Facebook and he's convinced that we'd have a much better, more financially stable life up there. He is pretty much guaranteed a job up there because of his background in youth care and working with the disabled...there aren't very many experienced workers up there.

Soooooooo, when the boyfriend brought the subject up once again over the weekend I suggested that in a year or two...after his divorce is finalized, perhaps we'd be married by then and ready to have another wee one...that during my year off for maternity leave (which means we'd have guaranteed income on my part) we'd try it...that way if it didn't work out I would at least have a job to come back to...seems like a great suggestion, right? I thought so too!

Well apparently the boyfriend after further thought thinks we should try it sooner rather than later...ummmm, I'm still not really all gung ho on this...you see, I grew up in a small town and hated it...everyone knew everyone's business...it was boring with not many different places to hang out...and I can see the boy just hating it for all the same reasons I did.

My mom now knows that the boyfriend is game...he's lived in this same city all his life and thinks a change would be a great adventure...I told him this morning that he might be moving all on his own...because I'm still not sure it's what I want.

Decisions, decisions...


Staci said...

First.... How cool you guys get one year maternity leave! That is AWESOME...

Second, I have lived in both city and country... I am in the country now and I really do not like it... It is getting built up more but still it stinks! I MISS all the amenities of a big city. Resturants, shopping, activities, etc are so much more abundant, plus the schools seem to be better... (The schools her stink and I am so freaking about it!!!)

I think your plan sounds good to me!

Together We Save said...

Well I do love country life, or small town life I should say. I grew up in the city and I love the small town feel.

It is wonderful your mom likes the boyfriend enough to try and win him over.

onegirliegirl said...

I'm like you, Mel! I've done both and I like both. It's hard to decide what is best for you and the boy.

I love the city life for all it's conveniences. BUT, I love the small town life for it's simplicity. I know, I'm just on big contradiction. So, that's probably not all that helpful. My only advice is do what's in your heart, no matter what anyone says. Your heart is always right!

Good luck!!

xoxo ~Lisa

That Girl said...

I like small town better because Im a big scaredy cat about crime/gangs/drugs etc. Not to say my area isnt getting that because eventually they all do but its on a much smaller scale.

Jennifer said...

Decisions...oh decisions... what ever you choose take your time doing it and do what's best for you.
**It is cute how momma is trying to win over the boyfriend on the move! ;)**

Anonymous said...

So how big was the town the bf grew up? I would worry he'd get bored. But who knows. Maybe it could end up being the best thing to ever happen. Guess you don't know unless you try.

LazyCrazyMama said...

Tough decision. There are benefits and downfalls to each... at least the small town has more than 100 people ;)

Anne - mommyhastowork said...

Decisions are so hard sometimes!

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

I hate making those huge decisions! I am definitely a small town/country gal, but that's probably because I always have been. I do think you have a wonderful plan, though.

~*~ Melissa ~*~ said...

That would be a tough decision, although sometimes change can be a good thing. Sometimes I'd like to leave too, for a much smaller town in the country. I was born and raised a city girl, but did move to a small town in Indiana when I was a teen. I HATED it! But it was for really stupid reasons, like a dumb boyfriend that wasn't worth it, and friends I haven't talked to in many many years.

Being a boy, he might just like it more than you did because they find so much fun in outdoors and adventures.

I would definitely do it while on maternity leave though, a year off is awesome!

P.S. Leland's cousin just had ababy yesterday and I help her and fell in love, so now I'm trying to talk him into another one!

Melissa said...

If the BF thinks you should move sooner, does that mean he's ready to have a little one sooner too?!

We just moved from the country to the city and I'm loving it! But there are definite positives for living in both places. Good luck with your decision!