Thursday, May 28, 2009

Writers Workshop - My Anthem and Expecting too much

Every week the lovely Mamakat hosts this cool Writers Workshop...head on over to hear blog to learn how to play along.

This week I'm cheating a little and writing on 2 of her prompts.

1.) What is your life's anthem? You know...that song that is ALWAYS in your head. The one you'd go to sing first if someone told you to sing a song right NOW. What is it and what does it mean to you?

Well, back in my single days my friends gave me the anthem "Promiscuous Girl" by Nelly Furtado...I wasn't offended in the slightest...but it was hardly true...I may have changed guys like I changed my underwear...BUT I was not necessarily sleeping with every single one of them....GEESH!!! lol.

But today I live by the anthem "If Tomorrow Never Comes" By Garth Brooks...sounds morbid a little...this I know...but I need to remind myself that it's the little things that matter in day to day life and it's very important to let the ones close to you know how much they mean to you each and every single day. I try to live each day to the fullest and have fun in everything I do.

4.) Describe in what ways you expect too much from your significant other. Do they deserve an apology?

I expect so much from the boyfriend...and quite honestly he is doing so much better lately...but I often question if I do expect too much. Is it too much to ask that he take a little initiative? When it comes to housework he needs to be told what needs to be done and when...for me it's easy I look around and see the mess and know it needs to be cleaned...so I clean it. I realize now he came from a household where his mother did *everything* for him and his brother...and she still does too much for them IMO. Whereas I grew up in a single parent family and alot of the responsibility was left on my shoulders...so I learnt early on that if I didn't take initiative we wouldn't be fed or have clean clothes to wear. We are just different...doesn't make either one of us wrong.

Also, when it comes to the boy...I expected a lot in the beginning...that is very hard for me to admit...but it's true. I expected (or maybe hoped is a better word) that he'd be able to walk into our family and become a father to the boy...not just any father though the kind of father that I always wanted...a fun one that never yelled or got frustrated...and oh how unreasonable that was...even I get frustrated with the boy and raise my voice at him or overreact from time to time. But I honestly believe now that we've found a balance.

Does the boyfriend deserve an apology...maybe...but I think alot of 'me expecting too much from him' was more a communication block than anything else...I didn't know how to tell him that he wasn't meeting my expectations without becoming a raving lunatic and he then would react in the same lunatic fashion...since we've (completely) opened up the communication we are getting along a whole lot better, we are all alot happier and our house is a whole lot cleaner lol.


Staci said...

Communication is key isn't it?!?! When Jason and I do not communicate well we argue constantly! Thankfully we have been much better in that department recentlt! Our whole marriage is showing an improved differece too! Great answers!

~*~ Melissa ~*~ said...

I think we all expect too much from our significant others, it just natural to always want more.

I gave you an award :)


That Girl said...

You know Melissa, I had the same expectations but really even if it were a biological child things wouldnt be much different. I think as a single mom you probably envision this 'perfect man' and really he probably doesnt exist anywhere. Well except for Travis. ;)

Mom said...

I think as an adult, we do expect a lot from other adults. It's natural.

onegirliegirl said...

Those were great questions and answers!! It's hard to stop and think about how we may be judging our significant other and what we expect of them.

I love your honesty!!

xoxo ~Lisa

Anonymous said...

Mel-that's EVERY guy. Not just your husband. They don't realize they should be doing things around the house unless you blatantly specifically tell them to do so.

Promiscuous girl, lol!

Anonymous said...

PS thank you for your prayers!

LazyCrazyMama said...

Awesome post. It is every guy! ;)
And communication is so key to a relationship. That's one I need to work on and learn ;) But it sounds like you are doing great in that area.

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

It *is* every guy, I have to echo that :) But I find that, you're right, communication is so important. I have to remind myself to communicate my expectations. Guys don't tend to read minds (darn it!)

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

It *is* every guy, I have to echo that :) But I find that, you're right, communication is so important. I have to remind myself to communicate my expectations. Guys don't tend to read minds (darn it!)

Mama Kat said...

That's a great anthem...and I really think your expectaions are pretty understandable. I don't think you're asking too much...but I guess it's good to be aware and grateful when he actually fullfills them.

Lapa37 said...

I like that Garth song as well it is a good one and I am not a fan of country. On the boyfriend thing I think we all men and women expect to mush from each other. It's just the way it goes.As long as it doesn't cause a problem it's all good.

~*~ Melissa ~*~ said...

That camping trip was pretty scary. It happened years ago and we still talk about it all the time. It's hard to believe there really are psycho crazy people like that irl, not just the movies.

Staci said...

your it!