~~Mel~~

~~Mel~~

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Thank you for cheating on me...

Have you ever sat back and really thought about the things that have happened to you in life? The tragedies as well as the good times?

You see back when I was 20 years old, single and pregnant I had hit rock bottom...my boyfriend at the time (who I now lovingly refer to as SD or sperm donor) was abusive and I really should have left him long before I got pregnant..but then I wouldn't have my wonderful son!!!

As of late SD and I have been in contact...it happens here and there...he'll email me out of the blue or I'll do likewise because we are connected...we *do* have a child together. The boy has 3 siblings (that I know of...there could be more) and because I do want him to know where he came from I keep in contact. But that is stopping now...today! I have blocked him from my Facebook and if he needs to reach me he'll have to do it by email or telephone, he has no right to see my pictures or know the goings on of my daily life. I'm tired of holding out hope that he'll be the father that the boy deserves...and besides the boyfriend is in the picture now and has been a great role model.

Case in point, I had emailed SD about a month ago inquiring as to whether or not he'd be willing to sign over his parental rights...I mean we hadn't talked in well over 6 months...he and the boy haven't spoken in 1.5 years...we haven't seen him in over 3 years...he doesn't pay child support...so really why can't the boyfriend and I start making plans for adoption? It all seemed so clear in my mind...but SD had a fit! I ignored a few of his snarky messages and then out of the blue on Friday he messaged me wanting to call Sunday (yes being Fathers Day)...I made it very clear that if he didn't phone that was basically it...I'm tired of my son waiting around for phone calls or even Christmas and Birthday gifts that never come.

So the past few days I've been thinking...about how I felt when I was told he was cheating...about how I cried and cried and thought that life just wasn't going to be worth living anymore. But you know what we've come so far...because of his actions I was able to finally leave that relationship...the boy and I are living such good and happy lives. Yes, I struggled as a single mom for many years but never once has my son sat and waited for his 'father' to show up as his other 3 children constantly do, only to be disappointed time and time again...he was meant to see his other son on Fathers Day as well and blew him off...at least I was smart enough not to tell the boy that his 'father' had intentions to call...because I just knew deep down he wouldn't and he wouldn't care that he could potentially be disappointing a child.

So thank you SD for cheating on me...thank you for giving me the courage to finally leave because I deserved better and our child did too! We've found better...we now have a man in our lives that will take my son fishing and hiking and will not disappointment him EVER (well not intentionally anyways). You know those cute Fathers Day cards that children make in school...well they never once were sent to you or meant for you...before the boyfriend came into our lives Papa received those gifts and cards and now the boyfriend recieves them...and he deserves them! Not YOU.

8 comments:

Yaya said...

It is sad that SD is a lousy Dad, but so fortunate that you have found the boyfriend who is lovingly willing to take on the father role for your son.

That Girl said...

I am proud of you!

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Good for you. He does not deserve another second of your time or your son's time. You've made a beautiful life on your own.

Jen said...

What a strong person this has all made you. The boy is a lucky boy! And yeah for you for unfriending SD. You're right, he has no business getting all the daily deets. Is there anything you can do legally without his consent? I'd think any judge in his right mind would see things your way...

Schmoochiepoo said...

Amen sister!

SD doesn't know what he's missing and doesn't deserve The Boy.

Take him to court, he hasn't really proved himself a father so I don't see why they wouldn't allow his parental rights to be terminated.

On the plus side... you don't have an arse to deal with for visitation or support like some of my single mommy friends. What hell they go through.

Jamy said...

Good for you Mel. So glad you've been able to find happiness, despite a rocky start with a rocky guy.

Staci said...

grrr.... what an ass! I am glad you know that you BOTH are soooo much better off!

His rights should be terminated as he does not deserve to be The Boy's father!

I hate men like that! Sperm Donor is so appropriate!

dana said...

i have to say this is the first posting i read and it hit home my SD called maybe every 6 months and i never told my daughter when he said he might call back.... she knows my Fiance as daddy... and that is all that matters i even changed my number b/c enough is enough. i know that sounds harsh but if he really wanted me he could call my mom's house (who had the same number for 20 years)